Throw the baby out with the bathwater : Sallow Tallow Soap

I’m pretty sure this new piece speaks for itself, but I’m of a chatty disposition.

While looking for a vintage soap ad to spoof for Sallow Tallow Soap, I happened upon a particularly offensive example of the odious advertising of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. It was sadly, yet serendipitously a perfect fit for this 21st century situation.

Even though I firmly believe that we live in a time of way too many special snowflakes, and that as much as we might want to, we cannot (and should not) punish today for yesterday’s wrongs, I almost hesitate to post the original; it serves no purpose of value beyond being a convenient reminder that history not only repeats itself, but sometimes just lays low like a toxic mold under the floorboards – doing real harm, but not terribly dangerous until it’s exposed and multiplies on a current of hot air.

Still, we can’t hide the sins of the past, or the present.

racially offensive late 19th century soap ad

Click, click, snip, snip.

Stew and hopefully stir.

Sallow Tallow Soap : wipjenni original collage art : traditional & digital collage

When Whitewashing Just Won’t Work Anymore ~ Use Sallow Tallow Soap!
We have no idea how it works, but it’s guaranteed to wash away all stains* – no matter how sticky, stinky or painfully obvious!**

Sallow Tallow Soap
100% Fat : 100% Lie : 100% Effective
Nobody Has Ever Had That Many Percents! Everybody’s Saying It!

  • Formulated with the finest ingredients that can be scraped off the floors of meat processing plants that have filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy within the past 6 months.
  • Rendered exclusively by workers who are so desperate for a living wage that you can be sure of extra sweat in every batch.
  • Packaged around the clock by hard-working undocumented immigrants who would rather not get paid at all than be deported.
  • Enhanced with genuine, imported Russian essence

Slick as a Good Attorney Who’s Gone Bad : Won’t Rinse Away No Matter How Many Times You Flush
Makes A Tremendous Lubricant

image recreating handwritten recommendation for Sallow Tallow Soap

* Results may vary based on jurisdiction related to Satanic contracts ** A vast majority of people witll still see and smell your filth, but will be too lazy or self-serving to do anything about it.

There may be a Mercurial Motive short video on the way as well. I’m undecided on how much more energy I’m willing to put into this particular pile of corrupt political absurdity. Purging can be cathartic, but so can swallowing hard and moving on.

Thanks for stopping by.

Eeeeeeerrrr… how cheap you are! Revisited.

Once upon a time (about six years ago) there was a conversation that inspired a thrown-together piece of low-quality art. Once upon another time (about a week ago) a stumbled-upon image of that thrown-together, low-quality art inspired something else. Use your own judgement as to process and properties this time ’round.

Eeeeeeerrrr... how cheap you are! Revisited : wipjenni original art : collage; photograph, watercolor, cut and paste, ink & text
Eeeeeeerrrr… how cheap you are! Revisited

Eeeeeeerrrr…how cheap you are! or, A long Fiverr Forum Story with Little Payoff.

The best insult I’ve ever been the recipient(?) of.

Away back in the day (a little over a year ago) I found myself in the midst of a heated debate about copyright, regular ‘right’, pleas for assistance, gross and not entirely unhumorous name-calling, with a wee bit of what-constitutes-good-commercial-design banter thrown in. Good times, Good times.

This altogether petty yet somehow resonant conversation was started by a colleague (wow, that word seems highfalutin for what follows) on the Fiverr.com forum. (See, what I mean?) For those of you who don’t know, Fiverr is an “international marketplace” (extra highfalutin) where all sorts of folks sell all sorts of services and in some cases, products, to really indiscriminate buyers who are usually only vaguely interested in quality, and are barely (if ever) concerned with legality.* Hence its huge success.

This particular conversation wasn’t noticeably infuriating or entertaining, but there did come a point when exasperation became the norm for myself and some of my more, uhh, how does one say… professional, ethical, associates? Unfortunately, the original thread was removed by moderators once it took on the flavor of “Yes, we all know that this site is a den of questionable business practices that are generally encouraged to ensure a steady flow of ill-gotten-gains for the owners, BUT, that doesn’t mean we all have to play along.”

In this instance, yet another seller – whom I shall call “Trumpy” for ‘her’ mindbogglingly emphatic support of her delusional perspective, that at once admitted wrongdoing and also displayed the defense of being entirely correct – was offering “100% original, custom designed logos”. For $5. With a 1-hour turnaround.

Trumpy was really something quite spectacular. She not only blatantly stole logos from the internet (with a stealth not unlike a rhinoceros leading a brass band through a Catholic mass,) she also insisted that she was being victimized because the creator of what she was using as her own logo told her to stop doing it, and some of her fellow Fiverr sellers kept trying to explain (with painstaking patience and a fair degree of tact, I might add) that stealing is wrong and that passing off the trade/servicemarked logos of multi-million-dollar, multinational companies as her own work, was stupid.

The bulk of us involved in the chat eventually came to the conclusion that Trumpy was probably several people working under the same username. (It’s a common enough practice on Fiverr, as it’s patently not allowed according to the terms of service.) There are quite a few user/groups that work 24/7 to keep their response and turnaround times unbelievably tiny – a seller is worthless to Fiverr HQ without their attention-grabbing positive ratings (regardless of work quality or moral fiber).

After a surprisingly long-lasting and intense exchange that involved numerous links to legitimate, established companies’ logos in situ, Trumpy flipped her lid. She spewed a colorful load of accusatory venom – we had no business telling her what to do or not do, and she thought we would be kind and help her get more sales – maybe even buy from her, not be mean and tell her she was committing crimes!

Now, I can be sarcastic, and I sometimes use words that are a little uncommon, outdated, or even quirky, but I do make a genuine effort to communicate in a way that works for those I’m communicating with. However, there are times (many, many times) when I get so indignantly riled that I forget my love of language; my desire to be helpful falls aside and I totally misplace any urge to give the benefit of the doubt – again. So in what was an epically weak rant, I responded with “If you don’t want people to see the stains in your underwear, stop airing your dirty laundry!”

When I signed into the forum a day or two later, Trumpy had replied with “Eeeeeeerrrr how cheap you are!” Only that. Simply, sublimely, and with what I like to imagine as not the merest hint of irony. It tickled me.

That single, enormously expressive sentence immediately projected a vision of some self-appointed, holier-than-thou, street hoodlum-cum-slum boss casting out judgments as to which of the lowly pickpockets deserved to keep a larger portion of their booty based on how clean their air-drying dainties were that day. (I should mention that Trumpy/hoodlum/boss is wearing a Hello Kitty t-shirt, dirty, furry boots and more than several spiked, leather bracelets in my inspired vision.)

It also became a running joke of sorts – a combination reminder of how self-focused and hypocritical people can be, and also how easily anger can be turned to hilarity with one good onomatopoeic spelling. I have barely seen a pair of knickers or the word “cheap” without hearing “Eeeeeeerrrr!” in my head since that fateful day. It’s like having Eliza Doolittle presiding over every load of laundry and clearance sale. Which isn’t a bad thing as long as it’s Audrey Hepburn with a bunch of violets in the hand that’s not holding the gavel. 🙂

NB: Here’s a link to a follow-up forum thread about presumed-to-be-Trumpy. And in case you can’t sleep without knowing, I had noted (on actual paper!) the exact quote – complete with all seven “e”s – that I found about a week later.

*Yes, there are exceptions. There are actually some high caliber sellers on Fiverr. (You can usually find them by looking for the users with the fewest sales. No-one wants to pay $15 and wait a day for original website content when they can spend $5 for a 10 minute copy & paste ‘article’ that will be full of the same attractive keywords as their competition’s content. Because it is indeed, their competition’s content. Why the buyers just don’t do their own copy & pasting, I’ll never know.) I myself still have an account there [yeah, no, not nowadays]. But as one of those increasingly rare people who is unwilling to churn out utter garbage no matter how underpaid the gig is, or how rude, ignorant and demanding the buyer is, I’ve moved on to less soul-nullifying, time-consuming ways to earn a buck. There are a few good buyers there too. They seem to be people who actually work for a living themselves, instead of trying get-rich-quick schemes on the internet.

Since you read it all, enjoy the reward of watching this terrible video that seems like a perfect tribute to working via Fiverr – including the copyright infringement!: [Unfortuanetly, the video has been removed from the Beck YouTube channel sadface] Beck – Soul Sucking Jerk

Connect on Instagram and Twitter – comment with #wipjenni. Tell your friends and family! You are a star and I want to be just like you when I grow up.

There you have it. Somehow I feel cleansed of the whole sordid, silly thing. Stick a fork in it; it’s done.

fool me once….

Originally produced January 13, 2017 from a single still image on a Nexus 7 tablet using the Viva Video (free) app.

VOLUME UP, PLEASE.

If I get the tiniest inkling that anyone is even remotely curious about the subject of that still image, I just might post it. As far as the music goes, I feel a little bad about using someone else’s song, BUT, I did make a pretty valiant effort in securing licensing to use it – to no avail. It’s the correct song for the piece; period.

a tribute to cinema sins & a boot to 2020 (a year in rearview)

Happy New Year to all! I’m keeping it simple.

I thoroughly enjoy Cinema Sins on YouTube. I did not thoroughly (or even much at all, truth be told) enjoy 2020.

Hopefully this serves as a final kick out the door to a terrible year and a big welcome mat at the door of Cinema Sins. Go check them out if you don’t know them; do a subscribe and so forth. https://www.youtube.com/user/CinemaSins

VOLUME UP, PLEASE.

No year is without sin, but c’mon!

Heartfelt thanks to everyone at Cinema Sins for providing some of the few things I could watch in 2020 without losing my temper, my lunch or my nerve. Thank you!